Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
