Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
