I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
