I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
