hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I have feelings that need drinking.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
