Little spoons don't ask big questions
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
