I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
