Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm always down for nudity.
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