Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The best revenge is premature balding
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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