So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
