whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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