Whod you bang
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
