Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
