A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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