Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
