Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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