clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
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