I feel great
I just peed on a car
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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