Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
