Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize