And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
