There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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