My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
bring money and cleavage
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
