new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
