if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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