I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
