My brain says no but my pants say off.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
