Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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