It's Friday. Sex?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize