im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
