I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
