She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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