So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just saw a hot homeless man
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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