peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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