i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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