I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
do herpes really smell.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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