She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
