people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
