She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
