just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
