Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
