Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
