Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
