I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
