So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Let's paint friendship bongs
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
