if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
