so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
