drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
