Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
