I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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