You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
