Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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