there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
