why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
