all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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