So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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