Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
