no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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