i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
