Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize