I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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