you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
