you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
