their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
