okay pat passed out under dana's car
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
