just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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